It’s a metaphor. I was not naked in the middle of the freeway. However, it was the most descriptive way I could find to tell the doctors and therapists how I felt most of the time.
“So, you are feeling nervous all the time?” The Doc asked, and I thought, “Nervous?” I said, “Brother, this ain’t nervous, I’ve been nervous, and this ain’t it.”
So we start again, “Tell me about your anxiety.” I must paint him a picture so he can feel and hear it to help him understand.
So I said…
Imagine it’s 2 AM. It’s dark, and it’s scary. You slowly become aware you are sitting cross-legged on the interstate with your back to oncoming traffic.
You can’t move; you don’t know where you are or how you got there; one wrong move and you die. Now stay with that feeling for hours, sometimes multiple times a day, every fucking day.
Whether it was my imagination or real, it seemed they got it then and wanted to help. Don’t get me wrong, they wanted to help me before I painted that picture for them, but I felt we reached a deeper level after I explained it that way.