The Night of Dreading

I stared at the ceiling, wondering how to escape a dangerous situation. When I was 13 or 14, I was allowed to go to the drive-in with a neighbor girl. My father letting me leave the house at night was a huge deal; he had never allowed that before. I asked for over a week, and he finally relented. 

Alas, once I got in the car with my friend, they drove to one of the guy’s houses and started drinking. They promised we’d go to the drive-in at 10, but when 10 arrived, they were all drunk. Eleven came, and I realized I was in trouble as I hurriedly barricaded myself in a bedroom. These people would not take me home; if I had called home, my father would have come, and he would have beat me in front of everyone. 

I was terrified to walk home at night. So I lay there on the bed, listening to the drunk goings on in the next room, and I dreaded getting home. 6 am came, and I woke one of the drunks; he took me home. At the door, my mother warned me to sleep as my father “was going to kill me”.

I went to bed and fell asleep. A few hours later, my father yanked me out of bed onto the floor, kicked me down the hallway to the kitchen, and threw me in a chair. He relentlessly yelled, screaming everything I was. I would pray that he would just shut up and hit me just to get it over with. The first slap across my face skidded my chair backward. I remember thinking it was like a black-and-white cop movie when they got the perp and knocked him around. I tried hard not to cry but couldn’t hold it in. It continued for a while, and ultimately, the lockdown tightened.

The realization struck me that the dread was actually worse than the beating.

 I found myself in what I describe as the unenviable screwed position. You have two options: face the dilemma and get it over with, or postpone it and dread it until you have no choice but to confront it. That night, I made the decision to face my beating head-on, no dreading necessary.

Being Able To Take A Punch

It was through that dreadful experience that I learned to withstand a punch. It’s not recommended for children to experience physical punches, but having the capacity to withstand them both literally and metaphorically has contributed to my success. In my life, I have had to be willing to take the punch, get up from the canvas, and continue on my mission.

You can lie down on the canvas and collect yourself, but remember to get up before the count reaches 10. 

No matter the punches life throws, a clear mission fuels your determination to keep fighting. If you don’t have a mission, get one. It can be a lifesaver. Performing regular small tasks related to your goals can help maintain your sanity, such as building a website, joining a group, volunteering, or clearing your backyard of leaves. Find something and treat it as your mission. A mission provides a purpose, allowing you to face life’s hardships with resilience. And in the end, you’ll be astounded at how strong you are because you persistently push forward instead of dreading life.

error: Content is protected !!